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Spiritual Abuse: Could it happen?

Philip Hunter, M.A.

“Spiritual Health" is a hot topic these days. Stroll into any bookstore, type the term into any internet search engine, and you will be inundated with opportunities to "revitalize", "restore" and "rediscover" the true spiritual you. Unfortunately, with use comes abuse. We all know about physical, sexual and emotional abuse, but what about spiritual abuse? Could there be such a thing?

In their book The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, Johnson & VanVonderen (1991) define spiritual abuse as "…the mistreatment of one who is in need of help, support or greater spiritual empowerment with the result of weakening, undermining or decreasing that person's spiritual empowerment." Spiritual empowerment simply means equipping or furthering another's ability to become the whole person that God desires for them. In any building you will (hopefully!) find a heating or air conditioning system, an electrical system providing power and lighting, pipes supplying hot and cold water, insulation, etc., -- in effect, a system designed to maintain a comfortable, livable atmosphere, regardless of the weather outside. In the same way, churches are run according to a system, with Christ as Head, Pastors as equippers, and boards of deacons and elders to govern church affairs. Just as a furnace can malfunction or water pipe burst, problems can arise in this system.

Many authors have written on what characterizes healthy vs. unhealthy systems. Here are some simple and essential ingredients necessary for creating a healthy church system or culture:

1. Open dialogue is welcomed & cherished
2. Members are encouraged to take an active, influential role
3. Unity is centered on the Person of Christ, not on a created sub-culture or individual(s).

Accordingly, unhealthy churches are too often characterized by:

1. Enmeshment / Blurring of Boundaries (members feel they cannot say "No" to requests)
2. A focus on attaining and holding onto power
3. Intimidation of those who hold opposing viewpoints, manipulation of others to accomplish personal objectives
4. The famous "can't talk" rule

Spiritually healthy environments welcome diversity of style and opinion, while spiritually abusive environments pressure people to conform to a standard of conduct that is neither necessary nor biblical. Spiritually healthy environments recognize that God gives authority, while spiritually abusive environments are characterized by individuals seeking to gain more and more power at the expense of others.

So where does spiritual abuse come from? In a word, sin. More specifically, two root causes could be termed "performance spirituality" and "king-making". The former teaches that God's love for you is dependent upon what your spiritual accomplishments are; take a day off, and God abandons you. The root of the latter can be found in a misconception about true authority, and a need to satiate deep insecurities with a sense that one is powerful and in control.

All of us have probably been both victims and perpetrators of spiritual abuse. Did you recognize and acknowledge what happened? Did it happen once or twice, or are there clear patterns of behavior? Take time to think and pray.

Philip Hunter B.A. (Hon.), B.R.E., M.A. Philip Hunter holds an M.A. degree in Marital & Individual Counseling from St. Paul University in Ottawa, ON., as well as undergraduate degrees in Psychology and Theology. He enjoys working with couples and individuals on a variety of issues including depression, anxiety, couple issues and spiritual abuse. He is a member of the American Association for Marital & Family Therapy (AAMFT).

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